I have officially terminated my PhD program. My supervisor and I discussed what remained to be done, and having come to the conclusion that it's somewhere between 1000 and 2000 hours, and that this would require me to spend some 10 to 20 hours per week for the next year to two years in order to complete it in a reasonable time, it's not going to happen.

How do I feel about it? A bit sad, but a lot relieved. That thing has been stressing me out quite a bit, and now it's gone. It closes a few doors: I'll probably never teach at a university quite the way I originally had in mind, for example. However, I am pretty well-established in a successful career, and I like managing, so I'm not too badly hurt. As much as anything, it's a blow to my ego, but one which I can weather.

What now? Well, I've decided to take a few months to rest and let the facts settle in, rather than leaping onto my next project. I'll start thinking seriously about my next major undertaking in late July, after my vacation.
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From: [identity profile] jagash.livejournal.com


As you said; you need to be smart to get your masters. You need to be crazy to get your PHD. Congrats on the closure and decreasing your stress levels.

From: [identity profile] ironphoenix.livejournal.com


Thanks!

It was a wise professor who told me that little saying, about a decade ago.

From: [identity profile] ziggy-b.livejournal.com


A very wise man, yes. I know that I heard the saying from Garry, although I don't know if he was the person you heard it from, but the other possible options could also be described as wise :)

I gave up at the Master's, if only because I couldn't think of a project that would be interesting to me for more than a couple years. My current job allows me to thrive on change so I don't regret that decision at all. As you say though... it's all about what the process brings you, and finishing up my M. got me an ideal job and life, but that doesn't happen for everyone. Some have to start a PhD to get where they want to go, even if the initial destination doesn't become the final destination. Often an opportunity arises that is far better than originally planned... rather like 'As one door closes another one opens' but in this case it is more like 'As you walk towards your intended door another one opens and happens to have a much sweeter prize'.

I am glad that you made a decision, and that you are happy with it. I had so much trouble going to school and working... essentially at the end I didn't get my contract renewed with the company because I needed the time off (this coincided nicely with them not being able to afford me for a term). For what it is worth I think you made the best decision, as you are so happy with your job and you are good at it and why change something that works? I know, you could potentially be happier with a teaching job but I don't know... I would guess that you would come out about even on that (be just as happy either way) so why mess with something that currently works?

From: [identity profile] ironphoenix.livejournal.com


I heard it first from Prof. Knight.

I agree that this is working well now; if I change my mind, I could even go back eventually, this time with my eyes open.

From: [identity profile] oni-neko.livejournal.com


i'm glad you've decided not to be stubborn about it. too many people would keep going and hurt themselves badly. With age and experience comes wisdom. and I'd say you have more of that than some professors I've had in college.

From: [identity profile] ironphoenix.livejournal.com


Thanks! If I have any wisdom, most of it comes from watching and listening to others.

From: [identity profile] ironphoenix.livejournal.com


Well yeah, but being young is a good excuse. The younger one is, the more easily one can recover from the consequences of folly... and every now and then, being foolish works!

From: [identity profile] oni-neko.livejournal.com


True. After all fools are the most ingenious people ever!

From: [identity profile] ironphoenix.livejournal.com


Indeed, to the limited extent that you need one!

In a book I read recently, Madeleine Albright wrote that youth and enthusiasm should not be discounted: some things are best done by those who don't know how hard they are.

From: [identity profile] jagash.livejournal.com


*chuckles* Agreed, based on past experience alone.

From: [identity profile] zenten.livejournal.com


That's the best way to get it really.

The other method is of course to screw up a whole lot of times.

From: [identity profile] ironphoenix.livejournal.com


...which is no guarantee even so.

Not that I don't do any of that screwing-up stuff, mind you.

From: [identity profile] ilanikhan.livejournal.com


Such decisions are hard, but often times for the best. I can't wait to hear what your next big project will be :)

From: [identity profile] ironphoenix.livejournal.com


I'm bubbling over with possible projects. I'm deliberately reining myself in so that I don't "rebound" into something (or several somethings) without thinking them through. I won't start consciously working on a decision until after vacation, but between now and then, free-association, daydreaming, and my subconscious are doing their things.

Possibilities: getting my PMP (Project Management Professional) certification, launching a startup, going into politics (probably municipal, to start with), writing a book (probably non-fiction), getting serious about DJ'ing, engaging seriously in volunteer leadership (e.g. at my parish or my dojo), starting a new games convention, and who knows what else...

From: [identity profile] dagibbs.livejournal.com


Condolences, but that does sound like a load off. I hope your next project goes better.

From: [identity profile] ironphoenix.livejournal.com


Thank you!

I don't actually chalk this one up in the "fail" column, because of the opportunities and learning I found through it. If all one has to show at the end of a degree is a piece of paper, that might be more of a fail than this.

From: [identity profile] squireofmichael.livejournal.com


Being someone who is looking to eventually pursue a PhD, may I ask a) what was the field you were studying in and b) was this a recent decision, or something you've been comtemplating for a while?

I'm glad to hear you're at peace about it!

From: [identity profile] ironphoenix.livejournal.com


a) Electrical engineering.

b) I've been thinking about it for about a year. My parents had been nagging me incessantly supportive of my continued efforts, but the part-time thing just wasn't working out. Work has gone from fairly intense to very intense as I've moved into management, and I don't want to back away from that; increasingly, I realized that there just wasn't enough of me left to do the thesis work and maintain my marriage, work performance, and sanity. This is something I'll have to keep in mind for my next undertaking, too.

My advice, if you're inclined to hear it, is: don't set yourself on a track where the only successful (or perceived successful) endpoint is a PhD. You will likely encounter other opportunities along the way, and it's always a bit dodgy to put so many eggs (typically 10 or more years from start of university to PhD) in one basket. Intermediate exit strategies are valid options.

And thank you!
Edited Date: 2008-05-24 01:24 pm (UTC)

From: [identity profile] ancalagon-tb.livejournal.com


"I realized that there just wasn't enough of me left to do the thesis work and maintain my marriage, work performance, and sanity. "

That resonated in me. Some people have boundless energy and incredible time management skills. These aren't normal human beings. For the rest of us, well we have to let things go sometimes, because there is just so much things we can do.


From: [identity profile] ironphoenix.livejournal.com


*nod* Generally, even they run up against their limits eventually, unless they deliberately do the slacker thing.

From: [identity profile] torrain.livejournal.com


After reading this over, I'm pretty sure that congratulations is the thing to say.

I'm glad your life is taking you you're taking your life places you want to go.

From: [identity profile] ironphoenix.livejournal.com


Thank you!

I think you're right on both counts, there.

Also, you can has Enchanted World books, if you can collect 'em.

From: [identity profile] dr-freddie.livejournal.com

Good decision


Just saw this today. But the key thing I zeroed in on is that you like what you're doing. That's all that matters, really. As for teaching, we've had people teaching courses who aren't profs. And there's always adjunct prof'ing to supervise students.

From: [identity profile] ironphoenix.livejournal.com

Re: Good decision


Good to hear from you! I hope you're doing well, and like what you're doing too!

Thanks, and good points about teaching and co-supervising!
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